3 a lovely story.

Lovely story.. based on Bipolar disease.. Wow it makes me surprise how many of people out there in the world suffering from bipolar disease.. will they go to the extend of ending their life ? Im pretty sure its a hard decision.. or do they have a chance to decide.. Interesting..

Career change

Im seriously in look for a change in my life now, probably near future change that secures few things that is creating an havoc in my life right now.. one of them is career change, two financial change, three  strengthening my relationship strain and four.. a need for a house.. Yes i own one alas what can i do if ive been destined not be able to enjoy my life there.. so ive made up my mind, to hunt for an house near my mothers house.. i know financialy it would be a disaster to think about.. but ive no other choise but to move forward. As for my main one, Career change.. yea im looking for one.. hunting down day after day for a good prospect, secure and of course with a good salary.. oh dear.. hope i can be able to narrow down and clutch on these... the sooner the better...

At office now, work call.. blog out later folks!

Why me? :(

never did i felt the painfully agonizing pressure on me,
never did i realize decision making carries so much burden,
never did i realize one day someone will take control over me
never did i realize one day someone will give me the pressure beyond my mind and my mentality could accept,
never did i realize i will be in a situation to choose either one of a choice.

why god giving me this kind of unbearable pressure to me? for what sin did i commit in my previous birth?
who is going to listen to my cries? who is going to console me in this painfull time? who?

:(

god.. please end my suffering.. or end my life... either one.. i cant bear this pain. I feel im at the hells gate now!!!!!!!

Turbulence in Life

Right now im facing some sort of turbulence.. Yet to become a crisis.. but a turbulence. For the past few days i couldn't sleep well or able to behave normal. I couldn't even eat properly. This morning i pondered to  myself when im looking at the mirror, " when was the last time ive been happier". Its true.. i lost control of my happier times. Why now? i couldn't publicly announce why was that. But im just hoping i could rave thru this troubling turbulence.

Hiatus and back rolling.

For some known reason i have to be away from blogging.. My married life, financial life, changes in life.. i had to adapt overall to all these to a maximum capacity. I couldn't think back on what to do and what to start etc. Well my life is full of adapting and dis-adapting.. Im pushing myself back to blogging as blogging is the only way i could express myself.. to release my stress and to start think of all the natural calamity that ive went thru.. My last blog of this year is back in January.. its been half a year gone.. half year of joy, sorrow, and unpredictable miseries.. Im not going to express them all here.. as i intend to forget the bads.. forgetting the bads.. and keeping the goods with me.. im trying to move forward. Well im back to blogging.. and here iam back to where my instinct belongs..